Written by Julie Litver: she is member of the Rice Women’s Swim Team, in Houston, TX. She has been swimming competitively since the age of eight. She is originally from Sydney Australia, and currently a Junior, double majoring in Sociology and Policy Studies, and minoring in Business.
You’ve probably had a couple of doubts about your body, compared yourself to other women your age, or even wished for thinner legs or bigger breasts. Now try doing this every single day, as you compare your virtually half naked, swimsuit-clad body to that of your teammate’s in the lane next to you. Try working out for hours on end in the gym to excel in your sport, only to go shopping the next day and realize that you cannot find a single dress that fits your broad shoulders or a pair of jeans that fit your huge quads.
If you look at any fitness, health, or fashion magazine, women are supposed to look only one way — think six feet tall and 110 pounds, not overly muscular, but always lean and fit. While the women in these magazines are undeniably flawless, they set an unrealistic standard for an athlete’s physique and make it extremely confusing for female athletes to determine what is best for their bodies in terms of performance.
Indeed, female college athletes are an incredibly special population of college women, with extremely specific nutritional needs. Some of us are still teetering on the edge of womanhood and can get away with a high-calorie diet of pizza, pasta, and Chick-Fil-A sandwiches. But others sadly mourn the days of eating whatever we wanted without worrying about weight, despite swimming miles and miles a week in the pool. On top of this, we lift heavy — like, really heavy. And sometimes this changes our body in ways that we never expected. We’re striving for some unattainable feminine ideal and praying that it doesn’t impact our performance. And through all of this, our athletic bodies are analyzed and over-analyzed by athletic staff, including everything from body fat percentages, to percentage of lean muscle mass.
Female college athletes clearly have a very complicated relationship with our bodies. We push them to the brink of destruction in a sport that rewards sleek and strong. But at the same time, we go through normal, natural life processes such as puberty, erratic eating schedules in college, and even just those midnight chocolate cravings as we study for an exam, all of which complicate our body image and self love. In this brutal and unforgiving world of blood, sweat and tears known as Division I college athletics, we often get so swept up in the tide of body image anxiety, and treat our bodies with such harshness and self-scrutiny, that we lose sight of what really matters.
Some of us look in the mirror and see a few extra pounds, never having lived without dedicated personal chefs (mom and dad) to cater to our complex nutritional needs. We’ve had that awkward conversation with our coach and now we obsessively count our calories at every meal. Others look and see hollow cheeks and protruding collar bones. We hear the warnings of eating disorders preached to us, but whether it is our own insecurities, or our relentless pursuit of control, we hardly listen. Despite how comfortable we seem in our own bodies, it is clear that, in a sport where leanness and low body fat benefits performance, there is a always a high risk for disordered eating.
And then there is everyone in between: We look in the mirror and only see flaws. Neither underweight nor overweight, but never really happy with our body, our weight or our fat percentages. We are perfectionists, goal-driven, committed and we will continue to strive to lose those extra five pounds until we do. And then there will be another five to lose. We can’t stop comparing ourselves to the athlete next to us, even if it brings a cloud of insecurity, anxiety and poor self-esteem over our heads.
The reality is that our athletic bodies are incredible. Our bodies are strong, powerful, beautiful and we would not be able to succeed in sport without them. We have to love them and appreciate them, because we all look exactly the way we are supposed to.
Written by Julie Litver.
Excellent article. Lindsey Vaughan, the amazing skier just wrote a book about this. I heard her on public radio today. My apologies I cannot remember the title.
Be sure that health is the goal. I am 55 and have had my misconceptions about body image and weight. If only I had been more concerned about my lifetime and not about the moment. Be kind to yourself and your body. Wisdom- no one gives a damn about your body and if you misuse your body now; it will haunt you after 50. Yes, these are facts.
I almost feel like you wrote this my
Beautiful Granddaughter in and out!
I will always love you no matter what size
You are or who you are!
Thank you for this beautifully written, pointant essay! I don’t think men fully understand, as witnessed by their comments, the pressure put women, both societal and self imposed, to look a certain way. Well done Julie and GO OWLS!
As a 70year old Masters Swimmer, maintaining good core and overall muscle strength, protects me from injury. Postmenopausal women who are still competing at high levels will never look as ‘cut’ as all the younger women, but, it’s natural to want to. The difference is that at my age we care less about appearance and more about performance and being able to stay in the water! My BMI could be better and building for a big meet, it will improve, but…I’m just grateful I’m out there racing at fairly good anaerobic levels!!! Reality check girls….it’s not what you look like…it’s attitude and determination!
I feel like the culture may at least be headed in the right direction. As a female swimmer in the 80’s (remember “No Fat Chicks”) – society was much less forgiving. Muscles on women were not cool. Body fat percentage measuring and weigh ins were all the rage. My USAS coach actually had me get on a scale after a sub-par performance at a swim meet one time (and I’ve never been overweight). Fortunately, my college coach concentrated more on nutrition but by then I had bought in to the idea that any body fat is bad. I’m sure I was too thin during my college career and could have been faster had I not been so focused on staying… Read more »
I swam USAS and college in the late 80s/ early 90s and had a similar experience. I was always self-conscious about my arms and shoulders because the Twiggy look was in back then.
It also didn’t help that the coaches made us get on a scale in front of a bunch of other people – happened both in high school and college. Then they would tell people who they deemed to be overweight that they needed to lose a few pounds. It wasn’t said in a mean way, only that, if you want to swim faster you need to lose the pounds. But even though it wasn’t done with any mean intention and they tried to be gentle, I… Read more »
Well if you want help these women out we should ban instagram. I dont know what you guys think about it but I started following it this summer cause I liked the extra glimpse it gave me of the athletes preparation but now I find myself staring at photos of women who for the most part are posting photos trying to draw attention to their physical beauty. And the whole point of this is get as many likes as you can and the more sexy the photo the more likes you get and the better they feel about themselves? Is that the point of instagram? Maybe I am just following the wrong people..
this is so unbelievably relevant, raw, honest, and relatable. from one division one swimmer to another, thank you for sharing this.