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Canadian Swim Trials Cancelled Due To Frozen Pool, Hockey Game To Commence Instead

Braden Keith
by Braden Keith 9

April 01st, 2014 News

In recent events the Canadian Commonwealth Games and Pan Pac trials have been cancelled due to a malfunction of the heating system at the pool located in Victoria, British Columbia. Overnight the Canadian cold swept into the venue turning the 50m pool into a large ice surface.

“I’m really not sure what went wrong,” said maintenance manager John Smith. “We’re thinking somebody was too eager to roll-up-the-rim on their Timmies cup and their coffee spilt onto one of the machines.”

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police have began investigations as to what might have happened, but there have been no breakthroughs thus far. Steven Blanley, The Minister of Public Safety reported that they would continue investigations until the cause of the heating malfunction could be determined.

As for now Prime Minister Stephen Harper has decided to step in and discuss options with some of Swimming Canada’s highest officials.

At a public news conference today Prime Minister Harper announced, “It has come to my attention that we’ll be unable to continue with the Commonwealth Games and Pan Pac Trials in regular fashion, so I along with the board of executives at Swimming Canada have decided that a hockey game will determine the roster for this year’s Commonwealth Games and Pan Pacs.”

In what later became an official notice, the Harper administration along with Swimming Canada decided all those entered in events April 2-5 will be randomly split up to make hockey teams and entered in a three day long tournament to take place on the frozen pool. The top 26 overall men’s and women’s points leaders will be named to the national team.

“I mean, It’s not what I expected but we’ve learnt to be prepared for anything,” two time Olympic medallist Ryan Cochrane said.

“It’s going to have its ups and downs for sure, but we thought that this would be a possibility so we have been putting a little more focus on ice training this year in our program,” Cochrane’s coach Randy Bennett said.

Officials will be opening up the pool tonight for practices, with an option for any swimmer to play shinny between the hours of 10-12 p.m. An anonymous source at Swimming Canada stated that if the trials are successful, they might keep doing them like this in hopes of developing their swimmers in and out of the pool.

Team lists will be announced here starting Wednesday morning: WWW.APRILFOOLSONSWIMSWAM.COM

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beachmouse
10 years ago

Good, but the all time best one remains ‘Laure Manaudou will swim for Auburn next year’ prank from the mid-90s.

If there are any other athletics/track & field fans who read here, Let’s Run has their annual prank page and ‘truth is stranger than fiction’ list up today.Pamela Anderson is apparently “the new elite face for the REI Muddy Buddy Adventure Series.”

Bossanova
10 years ago

I was hoping for a Michael Andrew related April fools joke. Maybe something like “Michael Andrew to NBAC for Traditional Training Camp” or “Bowman Takes up USRPT as New NBAC Training Regiment”

aswimfan
10 years ago

LOL too funny!
I almost believed it was so true.

And throw in “The Royal Canadian Mounted Police” into the mix also. Dunno why, but I giggled every time I hear the Canadian police

Mac
10 years ago

Ha! It’s over 10 Celsius in Victoria right now!

Olivier Poirier-Leroy
Reply to  Mac
10 years ago

Haha you beat me to this.

Arthur
Reply to  Olivier Poirier-Leroy
10 years ago

Yeah 15C / 59 F high forecast.

Anne Lepesant
10 years ago

Maybe they should consider a curling tournament. Maybe Canadian parents vs NCAA parents (many of whom already got a good warmup in Minneapolis)?

Flyin'
10 years ago

lol best April Fool’s joke I’ve seen all morning

lane 0
10 years ago

lol Just too funny. Deciding the national swimming team by a hockey game, that’s Canada for you.

Hope Cochrane can play Hockey. By the way does this mean that the canadian olympic Hockey players could theoretically enter and have a good shot at making the team? Or do you still have to have the qualifying times.

Hilarious.

About Braden Keith

Braden Keith

Braden Keith is the Editor-in-Chief and a co-founder/co-owner of SwimSwam.com. He first got his feet wet by building The Swimmers' Circle beginning in January 2010, and now comes to SwimSwam to use that experience and help build a new leader in the sport of swimming. Aside from his life on the InterWet, …

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