by Olivier Poirier-Leroy. Join his weekly motivational newsletter for competitive swimmers by clicking here.
Swim coaches are a different breed. They work long, thankless hours, often times having to balance their coaching duties with another job. They coach because they love the sport, and we love them right back.
Here are 10 different swim coaches that we see on our local pool decks:
1. Big Data. The math and data prodigy. Has numbers, stats, and splits for everything from your turn velocity, warm-up stroke rate, and even how much of a NW breeze there is in the facility. This coach is pretty much a certified space scientist and spreadsheet wizard.
2. The Coach/Athlete. Refuses to believe that his own career has peaked. Does all of the dry land with his athletes, privately believes he could probably out-swim most of his senior swimmers still if he didn’t have those two mortgages, another baby on the way, and at least two full seasons of Walking Dead to catch up on.
3. Destro. Quiet, analytical, and moderately unapproachable. Swimmers fear him because of his reserved nature, but his quiet stare does all the talking necessary. The following statement tends to destroy far more than any red-faced screaming ever could—“I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”
4. The Gipper. Pep speech before every workout. Before main sets. Before pre-main sets. Before warm-up. Before stretching. Sometimes you’ll get a motivational quote or 6 via text while you are in class. Can generally be found watching Rudy in his office before practice.
5. The Technical. This coach is a magician when it comes to technique. Can catch the small areas of your stroke that you are leaking torque, and often will throw 7-8 different corrections at you at once. This can sometimes result in a swimmer getting so caught up in trying to make all the changes that they forget how to swim.
6. Back in My Day. The water was hotter, the lane lines skinnier, there was no tapering, and yes, everyone had to walk 20 miles to practice…in the snow, uphill. Both ways. Is convinced that swimmers these days are so much softer than they were in the good ole days and will seize upon any gripe or complaint to remind you.
7. The Perfectionist. Workouts are to be done in a very detailed and specific manner. Any deviation results in the entire squad having to redo the set. “Guess what, guys? We are going to redo the 10×400 IM’s because Lil Johnny picked his head up gliding into the final wall.”
8. The Fourier Equation. The workouts that this well-meaning coach scribbles up on the whiteboard are so elaborate, so layered with brackets, parentheses, braces and angle brackets that swimmers find themselves stopping every 50m and 100m to solve, err, remember the set.
9. The Crossword Puzzle. Once all the swimmers are in the water this coach pulls out the newspaper and gets to work on the crosswords, only ever looking up in the event of a fire alarm. Some swimmers will take advantage of this by hiding in the far end of the pool, hide in the rafters, or getting out and taking a 25 minute shower.
10. Bobby Knight. Yelling, screaming, and a heaping spoonful of more yelling. Looking for your water bottle? He punted it into the dive tank after you missed an interval. You would be more inclined to follow his instructions if you weren’t also dodging the spittle coming at you from all corners of his mouth. You also know that when he falls silent to duck under the water, because someone is getting a kick board thrown at them.
Any other coaches you can think of that grace our pool decks? Let’s hear them in the comments below!
Originally published Feb, 2016
ABOUT OLIVIER POIRIER-LEROY
Olivier Poirier-Leroy is a former national level swimmer. He’s the publisher of YourSwimBook, a ten-month log book for competitive swimmers.
He’s also the author of the recently published mental training workbook for competitive swimmers, Conquer the Pool: The Swimmer’s Ultimate Guide to a High Performance Mindset.
It combines sport psychology research, worksheets, and anecdotes and examples of Olympians past and present to give swimmers everything they need to conquer the mental side of the sport.
Ready to take your mindset to the next level?
Click here to learn more about Conquer the Pool.
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You missed a few
Wheres the stereotype where the coach is just trash lmao
Im a woman coach. I feel left out!!! LOL
Only 2 available stereotypes for women coaches:
1 the loving mother
2 the abusive bully
#genderbias
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I had a #8 coach in college and it was terrible. He would write up this complicated combination of sets filled with all sorts of stroke drills. There was no intensity or speed to the workouts just monotonous drills. Then you would do the same routine 3X. So boring, but he thought this made it interesting some how.
I am pretty sure in 4 years of practices we never did a straight set of say 5×200 freestyle on a set interval. Each 200 would always something such as first 50 catch up drill, second 50 kick, third 50 single arm pull, last 50 actual swim. I’m not exaggerating. It was terrible and almost everyone had shoulder problems from doing… Read more »
I’m not sure what’s better: this article’s relatability or Yuri’s pristine fu manchu
Sooo, are all coaches men?
It’s a male driven profession, yes, and unfortunately so.
Why is this article only masculine? Plenty of female coaches as well.
Nice observation. I was going to post the same. The only pronouns used are to identify men as a coach. The recent (several weeks ago) discussion on gender bias iwith women’s coaches seems completely apt here.