“Zombies Attack Florida Swimmers!”

Courtesy: Michael O. Zahn

This poem commemorates a recent zombie-themed group swim — in near-total darkness –- across Lake Cane in Central Florida. Swimmers wore zombie attire and makeup. The round trip across the lake, normally held daily in the early morning, is considered one of the top open water swims in America.

[This parody is based on the old song, “The Teddy Bears’ Picnic.”]

If you leap into Lake Cane tonight, you better say your goodbyes!

If you leap into Lake Cane tonight, you’re gonna get a surprise!

For every corpse that ever there was will gather there for certain because tonight’s the night the Zombies have their picnic!

If you leap into Lake Cane tonight, you’ll gape at a horrible sight!

If you leap into Lake Cane tonight, you’re gonna hear screams of fright!

For up and down the length of Lake Cane are creatures that are not humane!

Tonight’s the night the Zombies have their picnic!

The zombies really relish this day, making the swimmers’ flesh decay!

The zombies really relish this day, they say it’s their favorite seafood buffet!

Beneath the waves where nobody sees, Zombies lurk to spread their disease!

That’s the way the Zombies have their picnic!

If you go down to Lake Cane tonight, you’d better not go alone!

It’s lovely down at Lake Cane tonight, but you really should stay at home!

For every Zombie that ever there was is gathering there for certain because tonight’s the night the Zombies have their picnic!

ABOUT MICHAEL ZAHN

Michael O. Zahn, a former Milwaukee newspaper reporter, lives in Central Florida. His poems about swimming have been published in numerous venues, both print and electronic.